Evil And Loving It: Six Decisions That Tap into Our Dark Side «

When we’re presented with a moral choice, the “evil” path can usually be justified in some small way.

Coercing a destitute quest-giver into handing over his family heirloom as a reward for your services? That ring of +1 Charisma could help you save lives down the line. Somehow. Maybe. Leaving a poisoning victim to die? Finding the cure would take at least thirty seconds, and your mission is so vital that you can’t waste any time — aside from romancing party members and gambling on mini-games, that is.

Sometimes, though, an evil option is so needlessly cruel and the reward so insignificant that there is only one reason to choose it: you love being a total dick.

If you’re the sort of person that embraces the dark side at every opportunity, these ridiculously evil choices will make you lean back in your throne of skulls and cackle. If you don’t have a throne of skulls, I suppose a chair will do — as long as it’s suitably evil.

Star Wars: The Old Republic Spot Art

To Airlock Or Not To Airlock?

Star Wars: The Old Republic 

In the first Flashpoint instance for Republic players, your transport ship comes under attack by Imperial forces. Of course it’s Imperial forces. It’s always Imperial forces. When a space pen runs out of ink, it was sabotaged by Imperial forces.

While making your way to the bridge, you come across a group of friendly engineers trapped behind a protective field. They explain that in order for you to progress, you must do one of two things:

  1. Reset the main reactor, which has the side effect of flushing the engineers out of an airlock. Depending on how long they can hold their breath and their ability to swim in space, this will probably kill them.
  2. Walk down the hall and push some buttons on four computers.

Sure, you’ll encounter a few bad guys on your way to hit those buttons, but in an MMO your experience bar tends to go up when you kill a bad guy. In a way, you’re actually being inconvenienced by doing the wrong thing. That’s commitment.

Planescape: Torment Spot Art

Punishment Not Exactly Fitting The Crime

Planescape: Torment 

A woman with the delightful title of Drunk Harlot stumbles into you, flirts drunkenly (surprise!), then turns to leave. You notice a momentary change in her posture as she tucks something into her sleeve. Something of yours. Her tipsiness is an act that distracts her pickpocketing victims. Let that be a lesson to those of you who, as a rule, implicitly trust anyone who identifies themselves as a harlot.

At this point you can catch her and get your stuff back. Instead of letting her go, you can then shake her down for more money. Then intimidate her some more, making her hand over all of her valuables. With nothing left to gain, what evil option could possibly be left?

Planescape: Torment Spot Art

If you think that’s bad, you should see what the Nameless One does to people who backwash while sharing a drink with him.

Fable 2 Spot Art

Your Life Or My Hair

Fable 2 

Deep within the halls of the Shadow Court, a woman is crying. Why? Is she still bummed about Peter Molyneux’s empty promise of a world where she could drop acorns and see them turn into trees? Does she have a hard time getting other people to like her because she can’t fart on command?

No, she’s frightened by three shadow spirits. They explain that in order to preserve a third character’s vitality, either the young woman or your character must sacrifice their own youth.

If you dump the responsibility on the woman, she will turn into an old lady. A huge swath of her existence will disappear in an instant, leaving her frail and robbed of a rich life.

Taking the punishment on yourself turns your hair gray, gives your face a few wrinkles, and makes your eyes red. You can donate some money to a temple to undo the hair and wrinkles. There’s a castle you can sleep in to revert the aging process. That just leaves the red eyes, which can be eliminated by equipping a gem.

Of course, the woman does not have access to any of these remedies. By foisting the old age on her, you’re essentially trading someone’s life for the effort of running down to the store to buy a bottle of Just For Men.





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